


United Kingdom

by Laeana



Series: ∂ead нearts [5]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Boys In Love, Complicated Relationships, Declarations Of Love, Difficult Decisions, Disappointment, Family Drama, Fix-It, Getting Back Together, Growing Up, Healing, Implied Sexual Content, Kings & Queens, Language of Stones, Love Confessions, M/M, Memories, Negotiations, Past Relationship(s), Relationship Advice, Repressed Memories, Wedding Planning, Wedding Rings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:00:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26986333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: Each their dilemmas, each their problems.When a wedding seems to be decided, everything needs to be done to make it happen ... or not.Lewis and Lando, Lando and Lewis, the Kind and the Prince of the British Kingdom.Two different persons yet bounded ...
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr, Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Series: ∂ead нearts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889596
Comments: 25
Kudos: 24





	1. i never forgot you

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Royaume-Uni](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096331) by [Laeana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana). 



— Get out.

His voice echoes in the room and his servants complies. Left alone, he lets out a deep sigh. The plan in his hands doesn't seem at all satisfactory to him, but he knows there is nothing better he can do.

He's been blocked on it for weeks.

The announcement of the Spanish king does not help matters at all. Lewis tries not to think about how everything could be turned upside down because pessimism really doesn't suit his complexion and rereads his terms one last time.

It’s fifty years since his dynasty imposed itself on that of the Norris on the throne; the two families having long competed with each other. And everything can suddenly collapse like a house of cards.

He refuses that this happens but does not want to overwhelm his brother either, it would be unwelcome of him. He's just downright stuck. He wouldn't go to despair, that wouldn't be the right term, but hopelessly stuck.

He didn't make a lot of promises, but he's been ruling this kingdom since he was twenty. He saw the war of Europe pass before his eyes and was one of those who very quickly imposed himself for an Alliance.

A long reign. A good reign. He has done the best for his people and they are more than grateful, conciliatory. He can't let the younger king put him in the game.

A marriage to the Norris' eldest daughter, what an idea.

Most of all, he was sure that everything would turn in his favor when he saw Lando fall in love with Carlos. His sidekick was a real sun on his own, he had been pretty sure he would make his crush fall in love with him. And it was frankly not so bad, a happy love story and he who could reaffirm his access to the throne.

This marriage elevates the princess to a higher rank, to a higher status, and he still has no heir.

The papers in hand could allow him a turnaround but he is not even sure. He never liked political marriages, especially after everything that has happened between them, but ...

He stands up, gestures hastily to the documents, because he cannot linger there any longer, before getting up, and leaving the room.

— Cancel my schedule for the week. I will go directly to Germany, hand over these documents.

His advisor stammers, surprised, he silences him with a look. Keep moving fast, before stopping and turning around.

— And ... take the Snowdrop out of the royal chest. Slip it into Lando's room as a gift.

— T-The … The Snowdrop ? Are you sure your majesty?

He closes his eyes with a sigh. He imagines too well the eyes of a beaten dog, the decomposed face of the youngest at the news, before he reconstructs a neutral facade, sadly smooth, as he must have learned to do since his childhood.

— More than sure.

This is only a small consolation, he knows Lando deserves more than that, he knows how difficult such a disappointment in love can be, especially at this age. Especially the first one who is believed to be the great love.

His suitcases are ready and he's already gone. It's a shame he can't see young Norris before leaving.

He begs Sebastian to forgive him for coming back to annoy him, once again. In truth, he has no idea what their meeting is going to turn out to be and it can be a total failure. He is not prepared to see him again, his heart pains to think about it. Their meetings have been more than lightning lately.

He assumes he can't blame him, or blame himself.

They have known each other for a long time. A long story of friendship in which a little something extra has ended up venturing. A story of reunion at each summit, on the battlefields, of alliance.

They loved each other in the tenderest way. They tore apart in the most terrible way.

They may have been too naive, to believe that everything would be fine, to believe that they could play the middle ground forever. Love each other behind closed doors, pretend to be the best friends in the world in front of a crowd.

The truth is, they have considered getting married. Lewis feels like it's been a decade, but they considered it. Although they were never alone in being able to reach the throne.

And betrayal hurts a lot.

A story of lovers, a story that reverberates, repeats itself. Everyone chooses their best weapon and off they go, hurting themselves again and again. Make the other jealous, unhappy.

Until Sebastian got married.

Their struggle was shattered. His heart was more so. He withdrew from the agreements very quickly, but finally put an end to the ruthless war playing out between their two countries.

Place stable, find your breath, calm down.

It was never fit for a king. He didn't let that get to him, not even when his former lover lost his wife to an attempted assassination. He never responded to the whispered, misguided accusations against him either.

If they really thought he would lower himself to such things, to have Sebastian back, they hadn't realized his great pride and how special their relationship had been.

The German was happy, why not? He didn't get in his way, he waited, watched everything. He even offered his condolences and sent a gift, a question mark.

His gardenia. The scolecite ring he asked to be made in their happy days. Finely carved in the image of the flower used to describe the other king, still in the intoxication of their romance.

He received a refusal. Something akin to it. A selenite ring, carved in the image of a hawthorn. What an irony.

He kept the ring around his neck though. At the end of a chain. Secretly. He cannot decently say that he will have been his only true love, there are things that are better not to say.

The palace has not changed since his last visit. When does it date ...? he doesn't even remember it. Too long.

He is greeted with a certain surprise which is not in the end. It has been rumored for days that he and the King of Germany have been discussing important projects. He just brings his final answer, his final proposition.

He finds Sebastian in the throne room chatting with Kimi, and he freezes for a few moments, having to remember how to breathe. His hand nervously pummels the ring under his costume.

Breathe.

Start all over, correct presentation. An old story. He always suspected that the two had kept some contact, having been lovers must have brought closer after all. He composes a neutral air on his face and relaxes his body.

— King of Germany, King of Finland.

— King of the United Kingdom. What a surprise.

— Forgive me for inviting myself, you seem busy. I just wanted to get my answer back to you, maybe I should come back later.

He's the newcomer here. The other two men exchange a wary look, before the older one nods.

— No, stay. It's my turn to go, I think I've done my business here.

— Kimi, are you sure that ...

— Yes, of course, Seb. I will not refuse such a request, I was just surprised by its sponsor.

The Finnish king quickly walks away, a smug look on his face. Lewis feels a little uncomfortable, out of place in this great hall, the hall where he had seen a wedding be announced years earlier, irreparably breaking his heart.

— So Lewis ?

— Yes, I ... yes. A proposal. Written. I hope it will suit you, all the details are affixed and ... maybe I should let you read them alone, you will have time to think ...

He is weak. He does not even take responsibility for what he has proposed. The papers are in Sebastian's hand and he quickly turns away, wanting to leave the room as soon as possible.

— A political marriage ?

The question explodes like lightning and he is frozen in place. He turns around slowly, taking a deep breath.

— ...Yes ?

He looks down, reciting like a perfectly learned lesson.

— It can bring us a lot of advantages. To one like the other. Everything is detailed ... I think towards the end, I ... I have made forecasts and calculations.

He makes vague gestures of his hand to illustrate his facts, does not look up, still uncertain.

— Lew, can you look at me please ?

He bites his lip but ends up doing what is asked of him. The nickname has a lot to do with it, because it's been so long since Sebastian called it that.

Something catches his attention briefly. He wonders if he saw correctly. When he rechecks he gasps in amazement that he can't even hide. The gardenia is on his finger. He probably should have noticed it before, since his mate isn't the type to wear jewelry, but ...

— You're wearing it.

— Huh ? Ah yes. It was a too pretty gift for me not to.

The German looks a little embarrassed but seems adorable to him.

— I always thought you were angry with me ... I always thought you refused me.

— Not really, not like that at least. I know you saw nothing wrong with sending me this gift.

He then wonders what his interlocutor is implying with this sentence. What wrongs he blames him. It's the most sincere conversation they've had in quite a while and he feels an unwanted emotion sting his throat.

— But this marriage proposal, I will refuse it.

He ... fine. He didn't expect much from this proposal. He hoped, really hoped it would work. He tries not to pay attention to this feeling of sinking that is spreading in his stomach.

— Okay. Very well. Ok. That was to be expected. I will try to reach out to others, nothing is lost.

— Why do you care so much about this marriage story ?

He runs a hand over his face, grimacing. He doesn't ask others to empathize with his situation, that's not the point. The problem is, they don't really understand.

— The alliance guarantees us a stable situation at European level. Why engage in further discussions ?

— Because it's not about Europe !

His sudden burst surprises Sebastian whose gaze undoubtedly softens.

— It's about me and me only. It's about my kingdom, a dynasty that my father and his father before him did everything to protect. I can't just drop everything like this. This marriage is the hope of ...

The German sighs flatly, before glancing at the guards at the front door and throwing :

— Tell the princesses that our little outing is postponed, I have things to take care of.

The two soldiers nod and exit the room, leaving them both alone. Once done, the youngest turns to him.

— That's not what I'm blaming you for, Lew. It was never the subject of my accusations. I can't fault you for doing your best to rule, for your people, for wanting to maintain your power.

Lewis shakes his head. They will finally get into the angry subject, he gets the impression. Might as well throw himself into the fray.

— And what do you blame me for, exactly, Seb ?


	2. too afraid to lose you again

They are there, face to face. Looking at each other, eye to eye. He gets lost in the azure irises in front of him. Time seems to have frozen for a few moments. Barely a second, maybe.

— I blame you for never having said anything, never having done anything. I blame you for not running after me, for letting me go. That's what hurt me, Liebe.

An infinite sadness runs through him.

— But you left me nothing to hang on to. I believed ... I sincerely believed that you broke our relationship. That I was the only one stranded here, on a sinking ship.

There is a silence, a bit long. A silence where they do nothing other than to fix themselves. The same feeling, the same feeling. They never changed.

— You were my first true love, the most devastating. But I would never get past our relationship.

A whisper, just a few words that swing everything. One truth may kill too long.

Scholecite, to dispel sadness, anxiety and soothe.

Selenite, for care, inner peace, intuition, judgment.

Sebastian's hand slides gently down his cheek, he steps forward a little, timidly. Their lips meet at the bend of the path. The kiss is getting deeper, it's been so long.

One leg slips between his and he moans, tightening his grip around his mate's neck.

— Damn Lewis ... I missed you so much.

They are out of breath. Barely breathing against each other's neck. His breathing is racing, he feels the tears wet his eyes. He shouldn't cry. He shouldn't cry when he smells this scent, when he feels these sensations ... it hurts him so much. Can he find everything he once lost?

— You too. I love you too. Don't look elsewhere, don't marry someone else.

— I do not intend to do it, I just wanted to know if it was sincere. Or purely political.

— It's never just politics with you.

The German laughs. This sound makes him shiver. He just doesn't want to end this embrace, right now. The feeling that everything is going too fast and that nothing is ever guaranteed.

— My god, if I had known that the fact that Carlos could get married would make you move, I might have made him move faster.

— Stop, it's definitely not helping my business. Not only mine for that matter.

— Lando, poor darling. This kind of situation is what everyone would like to avoid. Crossing the man who broke your heart every day ...

— You speak from experience ?

Sebastian pulls back and stifles a growl of protest. He then hears the door slam in the back, a sign that the guards have returned.

— But from the King of the United Kingdom, I expected better as a marriage proposal. Take another chance, see if it makes me want to say yes ?

He is suffocated by so much nerve and at the same time it amuses him enormously. He is not against having to court him.

Besides, he's been chasing him all week. Pretty funny but he makes sure he gets his attention and it is both a huge amount of effort and at the same time very little. Because, although his former lover tries to be callous, it has been too long since they played the game.

He has learned by letter that brother and sister Norris' return to the UK. They came back before him, well, he guessed it. He reviews the last steps they've put in place when his love enters the room.

— You gave gifts. To my children.

He doesn't look up from the documents he has in hand and just shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

— They look like you. A lot. It's not much, I know I wasn't there for their birth, I just thought it might make them happy.

Lewis is once again sincere. He met Emilie and Matilda as he was walking around the castle. A total chance.

— And you spoke with Kimi before he left.

He wanted to speak with the above-named correctly before he returned to his country. Make sure everything was going well between them and the conversation was good. Surprisingly good.

— You didn't tell your advisors why you were coming here, did you?

— I didn't want to embarrass you, you didn't need rumors running around your back.

— But that would have made it easier for you, your reign.

— But easy doesn't mean it's a good thing. You could have been angry, you could have refused to see me. I wouldn't have wanted things to get worse and you didn't deserve such treatment.

He thought everything carefully despite everything. He made his ideas, his opinions. The love he has for the other king and the respect he has made him be careful. Even if his relatives do not all understand his departure.

— I can't believe you did all of this.

— ... is that a bad thing ?

Sebastian laughs softly, before running a hand through his hair, shaking his head. The gardenia still shines on his finger.

— You will never change. You never realize your own actions, what you're doing.

He meets his blue eyes with some trepidation. He is lost. What does it mean ? He tries to act for the best most of the time, because he knows he may regret his actions, he may have regretted his choices before. So he carefully weighs the consequences. He has nothing to be ashamed of.

— I accept your proposal.

At this point, he does not immediately understand what has just been said. He remains blissful for a few moments, his eyes wide open.

— My proposal ? Of marriage ?

— I don't think you made me any other offer.

He nods slowly. With a trembling hand, he reaches for the ring around his neck, under his top, before tearing the link from his neck and pulling it.

— You kept it ...

He gets up, almost stumbles because he got up a bit too hastily, before walking around the desk and standing in front of Sebastian, taking his left hand in his.

— A long time ago, maybe a little too long ago, you told me that the hawthorn suited me. Because I was someone who hoped, sometimes too much, but never said it out loud.

These are not the exact words. He doesn't remember the exact words. He misplaced them, in a corner of his memory.

— I ask you to accept this alliance, as an extension of my soul, and to take me thus for your husband.

He runs a hand around his neck, nervousness overwhelms him. He feels young again, like this whole scene happened years ago, it should have happened years ago, but when he looks up he realizes it's the same with his partner.

— I think this belongs to you then.

The German removes the gardenia from his finger and slides it towards him, a smile lighting up his face.

They switch rings and the weight on his ring finger is familiar, almost comforting, it feels good to him. They belong to each other, it is an equivalence.

— Okay. Okay ... I can't seem to realize that-

Sebastian cuts his rambling short by resting his lips on his. He moans, taken by surprise. When will he stop taking him by surprise ?

— What ... that made you choose ?

He's out of breath with just a touch. A certain magnetism between them, unstoppable. He can't believe he's going to be able to live the dream of a lifetime.

— You've changed, Lew. You've become more mature, in a way.

— How old were we at the time ? We were teenagers, barely adults. I had to adapt to the height of my tasks.

— You lost something ...

Almost a whisper and his partner scans his eyes for something.

— I lost you. Then I figured out that this was probably the kind of thing I wouldn't get over, so I moved on. So I concentrated on my work.

A pounding pain in his chest, which finally seems to stop today. So much the better, although the damage still took place.

— I am not to be pitied.

— I'm not complaining, I had bad times too.

He rests his forehead against that of the man facing him, they breathe almost in unison and he is at peace. For the first time in years.

— Tell me why did we split up ?

— It wasn't our time, Liebe.

This is not wrong, but that does not mean that the truth is less painful.

— And now it is?

— I suppose.

Sebastian gives him a soft look before taking his hand and placing his lips on it in commitment.

— Let's make a fresh start, Lewis. We should not necessarily forget what we have lived but use it as an experience

— The completion of many years.

— Lewis ...

A sob passes his lips. He has held back his tears for so long that with relief they roll down his cheeks without his being able to stop them. His partner's arms wrap around him.

— Lewis ... Liebe ... it's going to be fine.

— I'm afraid you know. I'm afraid that I hoped and finally that it was for nothing. I'm afraid to love you, because it ended so badly last time.

— We'll be better. We can only get better.

— How are you sure ? We said that the first time and we ended up at war!

Lewis releases himself from the embrace, quickly pulling away. The anguish followed the relief, so much anguish that it all starts again. He stands aside, tries to calm his breathing. From top to bottom. Breathe. Eyes closed. He no longer hears a noise coming from his fiancé.

When he turns around, he offers him a look of sadness and sorrow. He wonders what they missed.

— I'm sorry, Sebastian. I think I'll go home.

Said frowns immediately, his pout twisting in disagreement.

— What? But Lewis, we just agreed, you can't just-

— Sorry. Sorry, I may not be ready. I love you so much, I can't ...

— Lewis!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some memories and the beginning of an idyll that has to be developped in the third part. I tried to represent Lewis as someone fundamentally sensible, but that was doing good around him. I hope I succeeded, even only a bit.   
> Some stones langage, for my personal pleasure. What do you think of his flight ?


	3. forever and ever

Lewis slips away, totally stunned. He feels the worst but he does what he said and immediately withdraws. His coach is harnessed and he feels helpless, it's a new feeling. He came looking for something and leaves before he gets it.

—  _ Aren't you staying, Mr. Lewis ? _

A small voice in German interrupts him. Emilie looks at him with wide eyes, mischievous for her age.

His interpreter comes forward but he stops her with a gesture. It's good, he had the opportunity to learn this language.

—  _ No, I have something to deal with that is a little urgent. Can you give this to your father ? _

__

She seems surprised for a moment as she retrieves the letter but nods.

—  _ You speak German very well ! _

—  _ I had someone to impress. _

—  _ It must be a lucky person if you put so much effort into them ! _

He doesn't dare spoil the little girl's enthusiasm by telling her that it was pointless since he spoke exclusively in English with Sebastian. He gently strokes her cheek before getting up when his coachman gives him a questioning look. There is a long way to go, he seems to be telling him and he is not wrong.

It's time to go home.

In a way, he's leading a great political fight against a family that has been opposed to his for a long time. He thinks he would have hardly had a problem ceding his throne to Lando.

The younger one is different from the rest of his family, in many ways, he must be the only one who bonded with him. Maybe his sister is also nice but she has never actually spoken to him. It's a far cry from all those not always very sensible conversations he had with his British younger brother, answering each of his questions in the best possible way.

His castle in sight, after an exhausting journey, he let out a sigh, knowing full well that he will be accountable to some. It exhausts him in advance. He would like to be able to do what he wants without being criticized or questioned at every step.

— Can you tell me where Prince Norris is, please ?

He asks two of his advisers who have just passed and greeted him courteously. They stop as soon as they hear his questioning.

— It seems to me ... it seems to me that he hasn't left his room much ?

— His room in the West Palace ?

The West Palace, or the ancestral palace of the Norris. If we gave a name to the castle they were in now, he assumed they would call it the East Palace but since it is the King's current home, it is just the Royal Palace.

— No. His room, the one you gave him. Here.

— Oh I see. Very well.

— Your Highness ! Please, did you manage to agree on what we were talking about before you left ?

— I ... I don't know yet. I will return my answer. Later.

Lewis can't decently say that he just fled the German kingdom, just after getting what he wanted. He keeps it to himself and instead goes to the room indicated to him. He knocks on the door.

— Little one ? It's Lewis.

He hardly announces that the door is open to him. The room is a little upside down with blankets and pillows on the floor, an unmade bed, a table on which are stacked some pastries, all surrounded by paper, full of papers that he can see being colored by the writing from his host.

The latter has messy curls, red, puffy eyes, no doubt he has shed tears and had trouble sleeping, he is still in a sketchy outfit that must serve as his pajamas, the only touch of eccentricity of his outfit is the adornment proudly displayed around his neck.

— You ... You ... well you came to take it back, that's it ?

Lando has paled considerably, immediately reaching for his collar, and he sighs calmly.

— What did I say about the address ?

— Yes I ... I was just nervous. I didn't expect you to come see me so quickly. As soon as you get back.

— Keep the Snowdrop, it's a gift. I just came to check on you.

The sentence perhaps not to be said because immediately, the eyes of his partner shine and fill with tears while his shoulders come to tremble violently under his sobs.

— Oh ...

It escapes him. He bites his lip then comes to take the youngest in his arms almost spontaneously. He can't bear to see him like that, it hurts his heart. He reminds him of his own brother in those times.

— It's going to be fine, it's always improving over time, you'll see.

— What if ... what if it doesn't improve ? Damn I'm ridiculous I thought so much that I would be lucky enough to be happy. It was so possible, so close to me. I was touching it with my fingertips ... I love him, Lewis, I love him and it hurts so much.

This scene reminds him of many things. He remembers holding the Rosberg heir in his arms, crying all the tears of his body, yet refusing to keep him by his side after the fact. Like a haunting memory, something that burned him just by thought.

He knew this pain, this sorrow. He was heartbroken. He knows better than anyone what it's like to see the person you love marry someone else. It must be worse since it's his sister.

— I know, Lando. I understand you more than you think. And you will get over it believe me. There will come a time when you will stop suffering, when the smiles will come true again, when you will be able to love again.

— But how long ?

He can't answer. How long did it take him ? To ultimately plunge straight back to the same sentence, the same fate, the same love story.

— Boys suck ...

Lando sniffles, a little contemptuously. A small laugh escapes him.

— Love in general sucks.

The other Briton steps back, methodically slicing up part of what must have been his four o'clock and eating it silently.

— But tell me, Lewis ?

— Yes ?

— Can you be by my side ? When Carlos will be there ?

He nods sharply.

Of course he will be there. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to kick the ass of the Spaniard. He is sure he is not the only one who craves it.

Afterwards, he didn't imagine he would fulfill his commitments so quickly. Honestly. He just wants this year to come to an end so that he can find some peace, some serenity.

He begins the audiences, like any good king he is. He sits on his throne, a few advisers around him, and the little people march past one by one, to bring up some complaints which he takes note of, which he listens carefully. After more than a week of spending half his day with Lando, he has some work to do.

To his right, Carlos looks nervous in his pretty, newly made suit as he waits for the Norris family to discuss the procedures and he has to wait in his palace for hell!

To his left, because he has placed them on the left, Max and Pierre are staring deadly at the Spaniard and firmly waiting for their British friend to take care of him.

A migraine. He's starting to have a headache. He doesn't know who he hates the most right now. His day is wasted.

— Are there no more requests ?

He begins to get impatient when he sees that no one shows up, the murmurs of the nobles present in the room amplifying his headache.

— Actually, I think-

But his advisor is interrupted by the door which opens in a big way. A few guards enter the room, a few nobles, and he frowns. What is that ? What's going on in his castle ?

When Sebastian arrives at the end of the line, a gorgeous blue suit that brings out his eyes on him, he is speechless. The German bows before him, remaining on his knees, his gaze simply anchored in his.

— Dearest King of the United Kingdom, I have crossed land and sea to meet you. I longed for you and most of all I couldn't bear the thought of not being able to see you again.

Everyone is silent, their eyes riveted on them, dumbfounded at the unfolding scene. He is both extremely embarrassed and a little too proud.

— So I come here, on my knees, to ask you to give me your hand. Not out of pure political interest but ...

A burst. His heart capsizes. He feels like he's falling more in love with this man facing him.

— But for love.

— G ... Get up.

He tries to keep a composed expression. To remain eloquent, in a way. It's so hard, his brain is spinning in the void.

— My king ?

He gets up from his seat and approaches his suitor quickly before kneeling beside him since he has not risen.

—  _ Do you accept, Lew ? _

—  _ Of course, how could I not ? _

Sebastian's blue eyes sparkle with emotion and it takes a few moments before he realizes they just spoke German.

— You really did everything for me ...

— Get up ?

This time his mate does and he takes his hand in his. This simple contact does him a little good. The German dared where he did not, they always complement each other.

— Looks like we'll have to apologize for discussing details, King of Germany ?

— I follow you.

As soon as he enters the living room, he closes the door and leans against it, letting out a long sigh. He still can't believe his eyes.

— What happened to you for doing that ? In front of everyone ?

— At least I was sure you wouldn't run away, Liebe. Once was enough for me, honestly. Then we are sure that it is official ...

Lewis runs a hand over his face, of course he's stuck. He does not know how to face these feelings that he has hidden, repressed for so long. It's his fault of course, he's the one who chose to show up there, to make his statement. But still ...

He breathes deeply, trying to calm down, feeling prone to nervous tics that he doesn't necessarily like. He doesn't even hear Sebastian approaching, just jumps when his hand lands on his shoulder.

— Look at me. Please.

He lowers his hand. Their eyes meet. They are not twenty years old anymore, they are no longer full of hope and perhaps too naive to think that all is well but that's okay. It does not matter what the youngest seems to assure him.

— I love you too, always. What we have experienced does not change anything. Those years are behind us and we hurt each other so much but I ... I know we weren't meant to live without each other for too long. Whether it's all of these encounters that we shared, however briefly, I know that every time I was happy to see you and I'm sure you were too.

— I made so much effort to avoid you, I didn't want to spoil your happiness, I thought that I could be unhappy if you weren't ...

Tears roll down his cheeks and his companion slowly embraces them. But when he looks up, he cries too. He melts and almost throws himself into the arms of the one in front of him who welcomes him without complaining.

— We have to do better, we have to do so much better.

— I wouldn't marry someone else anymore, I wouldn't go away from you, I can promise you many things, Liebe, whatever you want, whatever you need.

He hums quietly, keeping his arms around his neck with a small sigh. Is this happiness ? Can he really end up happy ? Will he finally be able to marry the person he loves ?

It's an understatement, it's just so unreal. He barely realizes that a few moments ago Sebastian proposed to him in front of a full house. Even in front of Carlos, Max, Pierre, his court, his advisers, and Lando.

This memory burns in his mind, but for once it is a soft fire, which comforts him. A happy ending, really ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what seems to be the end of this part, the conclusion of the pov of Lewis or, else, his happy ending. He didn't go back in Germany but Sebastian came to him. I really liked writing about the relationship between Lando and Lewis too, I found it fun but also cute, I hope you liked it as much as I did, the next chapter is coming quickly, I promise ...


	4. keep it together

Perfect love stories don't exist, happy endings don't exist ... not for him anyway.

Lando was so lulled with fairy tales, princesses saved by princes, "they lived happily ever after", he was probably blinded by it. Deceived, undermined.

He just saw Lewis having his happiness regained and he cannot not be happy for him even though ... even if he is left alone. Even if he can't find it. He closes his eyes in pain, not wanting to see a scene that may unfold in front of him. He heard his family come into chaos, slip to the right, not to his side.

— Are you okay, Lando ? 

That's what Max whispers in his ear, looking at him with great concern. He is not the only one since Pierre also has his eyes on him. He definitely turns, turning his back on what's going on behind him, trying not to forget to breathe. He nods.

— Let's go out ?

His two companions follow him carefully like his shadow, protectors. If he did not know them better, he could have been upset or even hated the fact that they look after him so much but they are his friends. They only want his good. It is with them that he can be one of the few times himself. They stop in the gardens.

He already feels exhausted from the unfolding of the next few days, from the cat and mouse game he is going to have to practice if he is to avoid Carlos at best and how much it hurts him.

What naivety. His first real heartbreak. Perhaps the hardest. He wants to believe the words of the British King, he wants so much. He knows it would be a shame to close his heart there now to the outside world, but that is what his mind cries out for him to do to alleviate his suffering a little.

— Lando ... don't give up so quickly. Perhaps we can find a way to make an amendment. It doesn't change anything for them, does it ? You're a Norris heir too and your sister doesn't particularly like Carlos.

Harsh words come to his mouth but it is inappropriate. Pierre took a long time to be happy, Max too. Both traveled a long road strewn with pitfalls, betrayal, grief and pain before seeing the end of the tunnel. It would be unfair to pretend that they had acquired their relationship in the blink of an eye.

— It's crazy how we always believe that everything is fine when in fact nothing is. How everything is so fragile and can fall apart in the blink of an eye.

He drops into the grass and his servants are sure to have a heart attack when they will see that he has probably stained his suit but he doesn't care. He has more serious things on his mind.

— I wish I was stronger than that.

— You don't need to be, keep your innocence a little longer, you'll regret it so much afterwards.

— But, Max, I don't ... I don't want it. If it's to be sorrowful then I don't want it.

The Dutch stares at him in silence, a little sadly. Lando sighs. The sun blinds him. The cool wind blows against his skin. Pleasant contrast. And he who has long thought of Carlos as his personal sun.

— What's going on in Southern East Europe, Max ? I have only had vague echoes, I have been absent for too long.

Pierre seems a little anxious and this anxiety makes him get up. Something is wrong. He heard briefly about this region but shortly after details.

— It seems that there are rebellions. Many. I'm not sure exactly, but it's starting to become a problem. Lance has ... he had ...

Max's face darkened. Rebellions? Again ? If the Alliance is in danger then the peace itself may falter. A strange feeling takes shape in his stomach.

— He had borrowed boats from me to try to trade with them. However, conflicts arose and some of the ships were annihilated. We sent troops to calm things down but the situation is worse, we are still looking for a solution— 

— Can I go there ?

His question makes his two interlocutors freeze, eyes wide open. He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly nervous at the attention he's getting.

— Lando ? Are you sure ? I mean, it can be dangerous you know.

— Of course, but you said it yourself, didn't you ? We need to send leaders or whatever comes near, I have a position important enough to go there but not enough for my possible loss to be a tragedy for the country.

— You are 20 years old ! You are not going to die like this !

— So many people can do it for you, it's not worth risking so much for so little !

Max and Pierre each have their own arguments and he doesn’t like it. His age was never an argument. The fact that he is reminded of it is more outrageous than anything else.

— I went to war with you ! It's true that it was for a shorter period of time, but I still practiced it. I know how to fight, I know what to do, why should I be prevented from being useful ?

— We're worried about you. We know that you hate that we talk about your inexperience but the fact remains that you are young, you are important to us.

The Frenchman spoke again after exchanging a look with the Dutch king. He lowers his head.

— Please let me go. I really need to see new horizons.

— Think a little more, give us the answer at the end of our stay, okay ? We don't want you to be motivated by your broken heart.

He nods even though he knows full well he's not going to change his mind. Lando is reckless, that's how it is. Stubborn, maybe a little too much. Many hours later, he returns to his room, that of the royal palace which he prefers so much to his usual room. His family suffocates him.

— I heard you wanted to go south— east ?

— Do you advise against it ?

He turns to Lewis, who remains thoughtful. His benefactor in a way. Of course he loves his family but the British king has a special place in his heart. It's a part of his family.

— I know you want to prove yourself and I know you want to run away from here for a while. So I think it's a good decision. Even though it's dangerous.

— Danger doesn't scare me.

— If only it scared you, kid, if only.

He does not understand the sudden regret that is spoken out loud. For the moment, in places of what maddens them, revolts, he feels determined, animated by a fire that he did not know. Why not make it his quest ? To attempt the adventure, to go further than he has ever been ?

— Do you know what the Snowdrop means ?

— Hope ... for better days ?

The older one nods.

— You're going through a difficult time. Try not to lose it, keep it as a lucky charm.

— I wouldn't want to lose something that you ... that you gave me.

His interlocutor smiles gently at him before hugging him. A fairly brief gesture that warms him from the inside, comforting him in his positions.

— I'm not going to stop you from going. I will support you if it is your choice. Your friends too, you know.

— I needed to hear it. To hear that I was doing something right for once.

He rubs his face, suddenly feeling tired.

— It's only right if you go all the way, if you are convinced that you are doing the right thing. People talk a lot, rightly or wrongly. All you have to do is keep your eyes on your goals, it's the only way you won't get lost.

Lewis then gets up, when a servant enters the room and demands that he come to his office. On the threshold of the door, Lando remembers what he forgot to say. What he wanted to say.

— Lewis ! All my best wishes for ... for your marriage.

— Thanks little one.

And then he is left alone. He drops back with a sigh. He should start packing to leave as quickly as possible, but the population is bound to know. His family will be aware of his actions.

He doesn't know how to cope. He doesn't want to make it look like he's running away from the country, although to be honest that's exactly what he's doing.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He can probably ask Alex and George to go with him but that can be frowned upon. And at the same time what Lewis just told him resonates in his ears. He has to do what he wants, regardless of others. He is not King. Each of his actions doesn’t put him in danger.

He has been so used to peril. He won't be king, he doesn't want to be. He can leave behind these codes of honor and stupid traditions. Without offending his parents.

He made sure to save Alex and George from any cruel punishment and they ended up being banned from the Netherlands and Italy. He immediately stepped forward to offer them a hospice in his country. They remain his childhood friends.

The two therefore live their romance, a little on the outskirts, very quiet, far from anything that may have happened.

He misses them a bit. He feels more alone at court. Content with Lewis' support or just keep quiet. Head down. People care less. It is above all that he is afraid of making a mistake.

Of his stays at the Spanish court, his awkwardness made Carlos laugh who always found a way to fill in his gaps or get the best of his ideas, but he is no longer there for sure.

Oh, Carlos ...

Why be so cruel ? He feels the tears prick his eyes again. He hates himself for hating his sister right now who doesn't know how lucky she is. His love floods his chest and he almost intentionally drowns in it.

He never loved so much, he never thought he was loved so much. The Spanish king meant the world even to him and he believed it was mutual, that everything would be fine. He should have known that wasn't going to be the case. He saw the dramas after all.

He didn't really know Lewis and Sebastian's love story, just heard it and saw the fallout. However, he saw that of Max, which started so well, the marriage with his prince charming !, but whose course was tragic.

He saw the bitterness of the Dutchman, his pain, his sadness, until his suicide attempt. He saw his alarm clock, he saw Daniel come back to his side and swear never to leave him again. How long before remarriage ? Will he be back to attend ?

He immediately saw the romance of Pierre. Dramatic to a different kind. Turn around again and again, hurt each other, see each other again. Until loving and being loved.

Lando should have known. No love story is fundamentally off to a good start, it takes a long, long time before reaching any semblance of happiness. How could he have been so blinded ? No ...

Carlos is the kind of person who makes you want to believe it until the end, like an unattainable desire, an illusion, a utopia, like the sun. Full of charisma and charm, you are unable to look away and you quickly burn your wings.

But what more would he want to burn his wings if that allowed him to return a little to the side of the Spaniard.

He would let the wax melt, he would let it mark his back, fall in droplets, scorching his skin, etching himself deep into his flesh, just to reach out again, have the hope of achieving that goal, again once.

He would drop without hesitation, feel the fall without any fear, the air lashing his face with force, his body recalled to the ground, hard law of gravity, just for that feeling of having been close, so close from the goal.

He would allow himself to sink into unconsciousness, shortly before the impact, the final shock, just to once again feel the illusion of having been by the sun's side — feeling the illusion of the sun having been by his side.

Tears roll without him trying to stop them. A void in his chest. He must learn to grow. He must learn to pretend better than that. Better than that.

It's pathetic to be so bad for a love that hasn't even returned to him, which probably never returned. He got ideas, he dreamed, he embellished his situation, as often. The problem of youth, dreaming too much.

— About the expedition in the Southwest.

He wandered a bit. This sentence immediately calls him to order. Daniel's loud voice resonates and he opens his eyes wide.

Not that he's not interested in the summit meeting that's going on right now. Lewis insisted that he come, since he will be one of the main envoys. He passed everyone he wanted to see, from Charles to Sebastian, including Max and Pierre. It also means that he must have run into Carlos. He ignored him copiously.

— An important subject. There is a good reason why I brought Lando back with me today. He volunteered to go there and I thought it was a good option.

Whispers fill the room. He swallows. His king gives him a glance and he knows he must support the idea by himself.

— I am a member of the royal family, which will be a good thing to deal with conflicts, but I do not have too much status. My loss may remain derisory. I am not the one with the most experience but I have significant knowledge.

— But you are the direct heir of the Norris family.

He did not expect this objection. He didn't expect the Spanish king to say anything. They haven't spoken for weeks.

— And ? Lewis is doing very well and it seems to me that he will not be leaving the throne anytime soon.

— Everything can happen.

— Ahem. It seems to me that we can cast a vote, the prince's arguments seem reasonable to me.

A few glances are cast from right to left. He sees Max and Pierre bite their lip before both raising their hands when asked who is for his involvement. His heart leaps. He really loves them, he's a little moved that they respected his choice.

— The majority approved. I know some of you are reluctant, so I suggest sending someone with him.

Lando freezes when he hears Daniel's counter— offer. He looks up at the Italian king. He can't do this to him.

— It would be better if it was one of us for sure, but if you have any recommendations, why not.

— And why not Carlos ? He's older but not too much, has experience and gets along well with Lando, right ? I know there is the marriage situation but I also know that he is better able to free himself from his responsibilities ?

He hopes he hasn't understood what has just been said. But Lance clearly directs his proposal towards the one he named, without any malice, just thinking in a synthetic way.

— Carlos ?

Say no, say no. Please refuse this offer. He prays silently, playing with his fingers nervously. However, the Spaniard gives him a look and smiles softly.

— I guess I could do that, of course.

Max, Lewis and Pierre immediately give him a shocked, panicked look. Completely turned over, he has trouble finding his words and has the sensation of falling from his chair while he is indeed still on it. He is paralyzed.

— Well I guess the last question has been addressed, go on the weekend. Lewis ?

The named pulls himself together as best he can to answer his husband's question.

— Yes, the session is over.

He remains seated, almost frozen in place, unable to get up. He feels miserable. Too miserable to do anything. It was apparently not enough for Carlos to break his heart.

Everyone leaves the room and he can't bring himself to move, staring straight ahead.

Pierre is the first to approach when there is hardly anyone left and comes to hug him. Max follows closely behind.

— I'm sorry, maybe we should have opposed the advice or— 

— No.

He takes a deep breath. Little by little coming back to life. He picks up the wax that served as his wings in his hands, keeps the pieces close to his heart.

— I chose to leave, I have to face what happens next. I would know how to be strong, my priority is to resolve this situation.

— Your priority is to stay whole, kid.

Lewis hugs him too and he has to remember to breathe properly. Remember that all is well and it's nothing more than another day, just another step. Everything will be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continue to develop the relationship between Lando and Lewis a little more ... i throw a bit of politic, it's because I wanted to make of Lando's character someone that was parting a bit from the others, with a different stories. It's the following of United Kindom since Lando is the prince and he's in big distress because of a situation he doesn't understand, because of a love that doesn't seem reciprocated ... i hope you liked this new part.


	5. i used to be by your side

The day of his departure, Lando finds a present in his room. A brand new sword with an orange scabbard. It is magnificent. This is from Lewis, again, and he smiles as he ties it to his waist.

He broke his old blade on the last day of the Great Battle, just before the Alliance was established.

He remembers that day and many felt he was still too young to be there but they were pushing back the last enemies and he couldn't afford not to participate in this fight.

He crosses swords, turns away from risk. He doesn't have Charles' grace, Max's strength, or Pierre's footwork, but he's doing well. He lacks a bit of experience, but he is winning it right now.

He parries another blow and the swords clash in a rather ominous screeching. He feels his sword give way and sees with surprise the end snapping off. He is not the only one surprised since his opponent has a moment of doubt, he takes the opportunity to stab him with what remains of it, aware that his blade will no longer be able to serve him afterwards.

— Cabrón, catch !

A small smile lands on his lips upon hearing the nickname. He catches the weapon on the fly and gets rid of the two other enemies who are approaching a little too close to him.

— You made a hell of a massacre here.

— I did my best. Do you think it's going to end soon ?

— I heard Daniel had cornered the rebel leader, I guess so.

He nods. He would have to move if he wanted to continue fighting, he is a little tired. He returns the sword to Carlos.

— I need to breathe a bit.

— You want to climb ? You're still young, I assumed ...

— No ! No, damn it, don't talk about age. Everything except that. My age doesn't define me, I don't want ... it to define me.

The ruler in front of him raises an eyebrow but finally grabs him by the arm before hoisting him onto the horse to his height. Caught between himself and the reins, he feels himself blushing.

— C-Carlos?

— It wasn't to insult you, I'm worried about you, Lando. I could never stop worrying about you. You fought valiantly today, I'm proud of you.

— O ... Oh.

Carlos held him firmly against him the rest of the ride and he didn't issue a coercion, far too satisfied with the situation he found himself in.

He growls, chasing away the too beautiful memory, checks the hooking of the sword then looks around the room. He doesn't seem to have forgotten anything. His reflection in the mirror looks tired but determined, the Snowdrop shines between the folds of his clothes.

He fiddles with it nervously as he reaches the entrance. The coach is already ready, it looks like Carlos is already inside. Damn it. He takes a deep breath before slipping in, a neutral air composed on his face. He's not the best at controlling his emotions.

At the beginning, silence dominates the trip and he is relieved. He can’t see himself talking as if nothing had happened. But very quickly his comrade finds the use of his language.

— Are you mad at me, Lando ?

He rolls his eyes, turns his head towards the scrolling landscape to avoid having to look at his interlocutor.

— I don't know what you're talking about, King of Spain.

Lando is stoic, cold. He has never mastered the appearance of indifference so well.

— Oh, come on! King of Spain? Really ? We know each other better than that, cabrón, we are not complete strangers!

— Ah yes ? It's funny, however, I knew that you were going to marry my sister on the same day as our peoples, like a complete foreigner in the end.

— I don't-

— You don't what ? Go ahead, find your excuses ? I suppose you wanted to respect a custom of your dear deceased father or the pressures of your family or whatever other nonsense. It's too late for forgiveness, it's too late to try to justify you, I ...

He almost chokes on his own words, stunned by such aplomb, doing himself violence not to shed a tear. He's not allowed to, not now, not after all the ones that have already rolled down his cheeks.

— I don't want to hear you talk about it anymore. We go there, we do our job and that's it. No need to broach unnecessary topics.

He may have hurt the Spaniard since the latter does not respond more. He knows that the father of his partner is a taboo subject, that it's cowardly to mention him so that he leaves him alone, but he needs it. After that, they reach the boat and they don't have to be side by side the whole way anymore.

He takes a little nap before picking up a map and begins to jot down some hints that have been shared with him before. The days fly. He doesn't have time to stay distracted and they finally find themselves on their last carriage ride.

— What are your plans for the arrival, Prince Norris ?

The call almost makes him jump, lost in thought. He is also not used to being called that, the Spanish accent making the pronunciation so special to his ears.

— Isn't that up to you ? I mean, you ... you're older.

— But it remains your business, you are the one who chose to come here. I would just give you my opinion.

— Okay. So ...

Lando takes the map out of the small bag to his right.

— I was planning to go south first. These revolts were quite virulent, I think that the villagers have something to claim, they should be heard better.

— Not the north ? The nobles are there, for the most part. It would be less dangerous than dealing with them first.

— I didn't really know what we were getting into. I have studied the map, it looks like we will serve as messengers between the two camps. They disagree, but the people might take badly the fact that we went to the nobles first.

— And the nobles will not take it badly ?

He bites his lip, lowers his head. A fleeting moment, several speculations jostle in his head.

— I would say that we can at least reason with them.

— The people do not have to know that we visited the nobles. If we are a minimum discreet, we should succeed in doing something together.

He raises an eyebrow, a little dubious but Carlos looks quite confident.

— Okay, let's go north.

— Haha ! Told you, cabrón, head north !

The delighted look the older man displays for a moment makes him blush slightly. He looks away, embarrassed. He can't help but love him no matter how bad it is. He would do anything to change his current situation which he dislikes more than anything.

They arrive in a sort of small residence in which they will stay. In the center. In the intermediate zone of all conflicts. They have the leisure to deposit most of their belongings there before finally heading north.

They are neither greeted familiarly nor hostility. Neutrality. He tries to put on a good face but it seems their opponents despise them in an arduous way. However, they sit in the seats offered to them, not suicidal.

The conversation turns in circles, frankly. He actively participated, took some notes but isn't even sure if it was necessary. Each day looks like the last, which is not a good sign.

— You talk to us again and again about this Alliance, about this ... Europe, but what has it brought to us? Nothing and you come back to trample on our wills as they probably will as soon as we let our guard down.

— Listen, I think the war caused us all to lose something, but today this Alliance allows us to live in peace. We may have suffered from it but now we can have a clear conscience, isn't that enough in your eyes ?

— This is precisely what I reproach you King Sainz. How were you able to side with those who killed your father ? It had been a long time since I had seen such cowardice.

Carlos' eyes widen, it's almost imperceptible but Lando felt him flinch at his side, taking the blow somehow. Some anger boils in his stomach. How can he ? How dare he ?

— You dare to be difficult when you are currently crawling. No one, not one, could reproach him for having made the choice of peace. I think you are unworthy of criticizing him when you are living through more than difficult days in the midst of a civil war.

— But now the inexperienced youngster starts talking like an expert !

— Inexperienced but observant. Misery is ravaging your lands, the people are revolting and wanting the support of the Alliance. When they’ll have overturned your government and you will come to implore some ally, you will be able to remember that it was you who had declined the generous offer that we came to bring to you.

He picks up his notebook and stands up, the chair creaking slightly under his impulse. The noise is very audible in the silent room, dumbfounded by his glare.

— My King, are you following me?

A mischievous look is reflected in the eyes of the Spaniard who grabs his arm. They leave the room without another word, without any more look. They go straight back to their carriage. He gives the order to leave, to return to the central province. They must let the nobility think it over.

— Lando ?

He looks up when he hears his first name called.

— Thank you ... for standing up for me. I don't know if I deserved such enthusiasm. Especially from you.

— I especially needed to fold their valve, they believe themselves much better whereas they do not even know what it is to lead a country. They have easy criticism of you, which I don't tolerate.

— Oh, so you’re talking to me now ?

He freezes. He didn't even realize that he had returned to familiarity, it was done automatically, he was so used to talking to him more familiarly. He feels his cheeks blush. He sucks at this game.

Carlos does not seem to care and, on the contrary, gives a small satisfied smile, before slipping into his seat and hugging him.

— Thank you, cariño.

He didn't say anything, not trusting his own voice to answer.

The return to the central residence makes him relax slightly. It's nice not to feel stuck in the middle of hostile stares anymore. He drew up a quick report and gave the letter to a messenger heading to Italy. It was decided that Daniel would be their ambassador. He is a little sorry to report bad news.

A bathtub has been installed in his room, the water is hot. He assumes it's attention to the guests. He slips in and snuggles into it, closing his eyes.

He spends several minutes where nothing disturbs this silence and he gets rid of his weariness to leave only fatigue. Soothing.

When there is a knock on the door, he thinks of one of the few servants who have come from the house where the members of the family they are staying in, a family agreeing with the Alliance. He therefore urges the person to enter. Anybody.

Lando certainly doesn't expect it to be Carlos. Carlos who walks into the room before falling on the bathtub and more particularly on him from a distance, far enough not to see too much but to have a wide vision on his chest and his bare shoulders.

They stay a moment without saying a word. He is mortified, more than embarrassed, but does not miss how the gaze of his partner roams his silhouette, how he bites his lip.

— Uh ... sorry, I didn't know it was you behind the door, I would have bothered to get dressed otherwise.

— Sorry to bother you.

— I don't think disturbing is the right term. I mean, I'm ... I'm going to get dressed. Wait for me in the small living room ?

The older one struggles to look away, looking confused, but ends up nodding and heading to an adjoining room. Left alone, he sighs softly, his heart pounding in his chest. He calms down before getting out of the lukewarm water and grabs a towel to dry himself off quickly.

He gets dressed before quickly changing rooms. Carlos sat down in an armchair and leaned back, appearing to be in deep thought.

— Hm, Carlos ? Are you, are you okay ? Why did you want to see me ?

— Oh, we had some map updates, I wanted ... I wanted to give those to you.

— Are you sure you're ok ?

His companion shoves the plans in his arms before rushing off, giving him one last look up and down that he can't interpret as he walks through the door.

He feels his cheeks blush. He has a knack for putting himself in improbable situations on top of that. The information provided is relative to the south, their next destination and he hastens to take it down. The layout of the passages and where the riots were more or less violent. He doesn't know where to start yet.

— Impact the most furious ? I don't know if this is a good idea, probably not. I could have approved of something like that, but we're strangers here.

— Yes, but neutralizing the most virulent will allow us to calm the crowds more quickly. If we make them bow, then those who are more pacifist will naturally follow the move.

— I feel like I will regret listening to you ...

Why does Carlos's opinion seem so right every time? Because here they are to do the opposite of his plan. Here they are going towards the riots. He is much more nervous, he knows he is in danger but does not want to use his sword. It would break the links they could establish.

What they don't expect is that after getting out of their coach and walking to a village square, they are greeted with torches and pitchforks and swords and … stoves ?

Lando grimaces, looks around the crowd; women, men, children, deans, all are gathered in one voice.

— We come in peace !

But his voice is drowned in the cries of the people who run towards them, weapons in hand. He exchanges a look with Carlos and that's when they decide quickly, very quickly to turn on their heels. They run side by side.

This brings back his memories and for a moment, he is no longer in a village in an unknown land but he is in Spain, in the streets of the capital. There is little difference to this scene, just the hand of the one who was the crown prince at the time in his.

They are not very old, neither. Not even teenagers.Well, he is not a teenager. They take refuge in an alley, the Spaniard looks at him with wide eyes.

— Who are you ? What are you doing here ? it's super dangerous. Peace has not yet been restored ...

— I am Lando Norris, son of King and Secondary Queen Norris, whose lineage has been in the throne for— 

— I know, I know. I know your story cabrón but what are you doing so far from your country ? The war is not over and— 

— Cabrón ? I like your accent, it's soft ... but the kingdom decided to help Spain, I didn't come alone. I lost the others in the crowd. What is happening there ?

An innocent question, just out of a child's mouth. A glimmer of pain crossed the irises of the one in front of him, the wound was still too recent.

— My father is ... is no longer here. So I must rise to power and this to appease the temptations here.

— If you're the Prince, why are you outside ?

— I wanted ...

A moment of silence in a conversation that may have turned out to be a little too serious for a first meeting.

— I wanted to see the exterior again. Before becoming king. I'll probably have to go home now.

— Why ?

— For you, I must take you back to the castle, y renunciar a mi libertad ...

— You don't have to, you know ?

He cocked his head to the side, candid as much as he could afford at his age and smiled when he saw his comrade's puzzled expression.

— You can take advantage of the time you want, I am not expected. Coming here, I saw a pretty fountain, can we go if there are no longer the angry people ?

Carlos' hand returned to his and they ran a bit more, going around town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of the bound Lewis-Lando, the beginning of Carlos and Landos' adventure and some memories of what made their relationship ... a lot is yet to happen, they haven't reached their end yet. One chapter left for this part, as the others, but a bit longer ...   
> Thanks for reading !


	6. it means i love you.

Precious memories that Lando keeps with him. Always. Like a kind of heavy baggage. These are scenes that have already taken place, scenes that he has already experienced, that he can no longer regret. He can only cherish them.

His breath is short, Carlos grabs his arm and they lean against the wall of a house, letting the crowd pass. They look at each other, wide— eyed, waiting silently. A little scared.

The time seems long. After a while, they realize the absurdity of the situation and a laugh passes their lips. To both of them. It's almost instantaneous and, woah, they really didn't expect to be in this position.

He imagined a lot of things coming here, a lot of stuff. Being chased by a pack of rabid villagers was not part of his plans.

— It was ... it was sporty !

— I hadn't run so much in a long time !

Each to his own admission, a smile tints their lips. They look at each other. The Spaniard reaches out to grasp the collar almost entirely hidden in his collar and observes him with wide eyes; his smile dies.

— It's new ? This set is ... beautiful. The person who gave it to you must really care about you.

He does not immediately realize what he is talking about until he puts a hand to his neck and falls on the object. He bites his lip. The moment he got this gift. Tears rolling down his cheeks.

— I know he cares about me, I know that.

If he was attentive, he would see jealousy distorting the king's features, but he is not at all, his eyes riveted on the ground.

— It's a royal treasure, good god. Having it in my possession, I couldn't even imagine, but Lewis, he ...

— Lewis ?

— Yes Lewis, he gave it to me. Who else could it have been ? I don't think I'm special enough to anyone to have something like that.

His self— mockery stings his lips but he lets it go. That's what he thinks after all. The only person he ever thought to matter for, really, is going to get married and clearly not to him.

— It's the Snowdrop.

— I think I remember it a little too well.

— It's made for tough times. Lewis said it would bring me luck with whatever happened. I don't know if he's telling the truth ...

— I know. I know its meaning.

Lando just nods when he hears this, not realizing that his partner understands several things right now. It's only when he looks up, inevitably landing on two anxious brown irises that he has doubts.

Doubts on what to do. Doubts about what is really going on. Their gazes merge into each other and time seems on hold. Even the distant echoes of the crowd no longer reach them. Just the two of them. More and more near.

Until their lips meet and Carlos, seized with a sudden passion, does come and hug him tightly.

He has an exclamation of surprise. Who finds himself smothered in the kiss. The tongue of Spaniard comes to titillate his and he does not resist more. The warmth of their two bodies pressed together, that feeling in his chest ... he had hoped for this moment so much, wanted it.

Then as quickly as his mate has approached, he pulls back and walks away quickly, muttering a vague apology he doesn't even hear.

Stunned, he feels the blood rush to his cheeks and ears and remains frozen. The scene stunned him. Totally. He would almost have trouble remembering his own name. What does it mean ? Why ?

His thoughts are interrupted when his sleeve is pulled. He turns around quickly to find a little girl who is looking at him with wide eyes.

— Doctor ... doctor ?

It is a little broken English and the despair present in the eyes of the girl does not make him hesitate too long. He nods.

She takes him by the hand to lead him through narrow alleys he had not yet seen. Until arriving at a house a little out of the way, rather small. They enter it. Inside, an older woman scolds the little one in a language he doesn't know before turning to him.

— Sorry for the inconvenience, you shouldn't have come, really ...

They are interrupted by a long complaint. It was then that he noticed a man lying on a bed, in bad shape.

— What's wrong with him ?

— My husband ... intervened during a rif. But someone brandished a sword and he took the blow. From then on, everything lost its meaning and the villagers scare away all those who dare to approach.

He walks quickly, lifts the sheet to find a wound covered in bloody bandages. He grimaces when he sees it. At least it doesn't seem infected, but a lot of blood seems to have been spilled.

— We don't have any money to give you ...

— I don't want any money, don't worry.

Lando knows how to deal with this kind of wound. He has learned. Against his will, a little, but he learned anyway. During the time of battles, he spent as much time using the sword as in the infirmary.

— You will learn to treat injuries in real experience.

— What ? Why Lewis ? The caregivers are there for that, right ?

The king eyed him a little harshly. He wondered what he had said wrong, he didn't really understand. The oldest one finally sighed before putting a hand on his shoulder.

— If you travel to unknown land, if you are not in allied lands, there will probably be no more caregivers to take care of you. You must be able to heal yourself on your own. Know the basics. At least.

He grumbled but he complied.

He was as good at caring for patients as he was at a battlefield, who would have believed that.

He cleans the wound carefully and undoes the bandages to observe the wound more closely.

— I saw berries at the entrance to the village, could you go get some ?

— The berries ... that are purple ?

He nods. His request is executed. He grabs clean bandages. The berries will help with healing. After some time of healing, he can finally stop, sure that the injured will be okay.

— I don't know how to thank you.

— There's no need to. It was my pleasure to be able to help you.

— But, if you forgive my curiosity, what are you doing in the region ?

He accepts a glass of water from the hostess.

— I'm a Prince actually. I have come to this country on behalf of the Alliance, to try to end the war here. I had not come alone from elsewhere, I was accompanied by the King ...

His eyes widen. How long has passed since he's been here ? He left without even telling his partner.

— By the King of Spain ...

— Oh, the crowd chased you two. You know, most of the people here are not against the Alliance, they are against the nobles of the land.

— But I have to do something, we can't just sit idly by !

— I think you've come to the right place, sir.

The lady gives him a mysterious smile and he finally resolves to say goodbye to them, rushing to find Carlos as soon as possible. He hopes the latter will not blame him. When he gets to the coach, he jumps on him. Literally.

— Where have you been ? You made me worry sick, I was afraid something had happened to you, I would never have forgiven myself … 

— I'm sorry. I had a meeting, I treated a seriously injured person. I couldn't leave them.

He looks soft at the older one, who ends up sighing a little loudly and shrugs his shoulders.

— I think we had enough adventures for today. We're going to take a night's rest, we'll try to come back to the village tomorrow, are you okay ?

Lando nods and here they are, staying on the outskirts to avoid conflicts as much as possible, or that their rooms are burnt during the night.

The only problem is dreaming about that kiss. To imagine it again and again, to replay it in a loop in his head. So much so that he couldn't sleep, so much so that the heat in his chest turned into a rush of fearlessness.

He slips into Carlos' room, closing the door carefully behind his back. This one is not sleeping either, but his eyes widen when he sees him.

— L-Lando ? What are you doing here ?

He does not answer. A light shines in the back of his eyes. The sheet slips off the Spaniard's torso as the latter rises a little. He is trembling, inside, he allows himself everything he has never dared.

He slips on the pelvis of his companion before leaning slightly to take hold of his lips.

— Lando? What- 

He puts a finger to his mouth. Slightly move his hips, creating friction between them, causing him to moan softly. He takes off the top he's wearing. The older one seems to hesitate on where to look.

It's a little frustrating. The moment embarrassment begins to take hold of him, when he begins to think he better just walk away and pretend that this moment never happened, Carlos's hands grab him and he pulls himself together. suddenly finds his back against the mattress.

The king resumes his lips more aggressively than before, he is panting. He feels so inexperienced in front of him spreading out in soft whispers to reassure him with every step. So soft and tender.

He takes advantage of the moment with a certain resignation and the few sobs accumulated in his throat finally come out; tears roll down his cheeks. His love kisses his face, collects the salty pearls.

He melts, he melts in this moment and wishes it to last forever. Then exhaustion takes hold of him after they reach their peaks, and his eyes almost close on their own. He doesn't know if he's already dreaming, if it's the truth or what he wants it to be.

— Te amo, corazón.

When his eyes open again, it's bright daylight and he gets up, his body a little sore. Carlos doesn't say anything but just kisses his cheek before getting up, already dressed.

— Prepare yourself cábron, we are expected.

Still a little sleepy, he just nods and goes back to his room to change. After having eaten briefly, he feels more awake and their descent into the village could not be worse than yesterday. So he stays positive while hanging the Snowdrop around his neck.

The tables seem to have turned. In their favor. When they get there, he recognizes the man he rescued yesterday and he stands in front of the crowd. As a leader. Lando suddenly understands what the woman meant.

— You saved my life, you allowed me not to abandon my family, nor the people, nor my country and for that, I thank you very much.

His interlocutor leans in a curtsey and he shakes his head, already very embarrassed.

— I did what I had to do, that's all.

— Listening to your proposal is the least I think.

A big smile lights his face and he hastens to follow the villagers. Carlos only catches up to him to whisper in his ear:

— You see, you did well again, pequeño. I'm proud of you.

He bites his lip.

Discussions are successful. It turns out that when these people are not an angry rabid mob they are suddenly more sympathetic, more diplomatic too. Getting along isn't difficult and he's almost disappointed that everything comes together so easily. Well, easily. They must go back to the nobles now. Those are the ones that scare him to be honest.

He will never regret his burst because he can’t regret having defended his partner, against all odds, and because the nobles were damn not friendly, not endowed with common sense ? in short, a correction was satisfactory.

— Nervous ?

This is what Carlos asks him as they are about to enter the council chamber for the second time during their stay. He can hardly nod. The Spaniard smiles softly before taking his hand to lead him inside.

This take isn't much, doesn't even last that long. But it's so heartwarming to have such support that he can't complain. That he feels invigorated.

— Your words last time made me think, Prince Norris.

Oh. He is called by his title. No longer by words like "young inexperienced". Really. A change in behavior that would almost make him laugh if he wasn’t so tense.

— I think, under certain auspices, we could consider the terms of the Alliance.

— All in good time. Your people knew how to be more clairvoyant than you, we have already reached an agreement with them, only you remain.

— How? Did you manage to convince the assembly of the South ?

Is it so surprising ? Presumably yes. He can thank his good luck and thank Lewis. A thousand times thank. Even from afar his benefactor was able to help him, how incredible.

— To tell the truth, all that is missing is your signatures on this pact.

Carlos unsheathes the papers with a fluid gesture, supporting his gesture clearly by advancing the pen to the monarch who, incredulous, stares at the sheets with a dismal air.

— I ... I ...

— Your eloquence suddenly disappeared ? Has your pride been undermined too much by a coward and an ignorant ?

He would almost pity the man who is enduring the merciless phrasing of the King of Spain.

— I bow. For this time.

He might jump of joy. And fall from fatigue. He may play the strong person, play the one who doesn't regret his decisions, he can't wait to get home. Although ...

Everything he wanted to forget is going to be back with him.

His little bubble suddenly breaks. He can't even force a smile when the signatures are finally put on. He remains absent until their return in the coach, until they are on their way to the United Kingdom.

— Something wrong, Lando?

— I ... I don't know. I still can't agree on the emotion I should feel.

— Why is that ?

— Give me some space, please.

A disagreement shines in Carlos' eyes, but Carlos is silent. He thanks him inwardly and closes his eyes. The second part of the journey, after they have set foot in his native land, is the one that Lando finds the longest.

Notably because, halfway, they find themselves unable to continue their journey. The bad weather threatens them and they stop in an area a little too far from the capital. He's chomping at the bit. Give in. Easily gives in, all of his barriers collapse as he pulls himself up into Carlos' bed yet again.

— Hold me. Hold me tight against you. Love me please Carlos ...

Is this their last moment then ? They will no longer have any other intimacies like this, will never touch each other again as they do, will not be able to love each other in this way.

He doesn't want it. He doesn't want a world where the man he loves is so near and so far at the same time. He does not want a time where he has to suffer constantly, where he cannot have the one he has coveted so much.

— I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, Carlos murmurs, kissing his warm cheeks.

The Spaniard's eyes are wet with tears, so full of regret. He doesn't look like a man who made a choice loud and clear, with strength and determination, he doesn't look like a man at all. Was he the same who made this decision ? For the first time he has doubts.

This gentle embrace, their two naked bodies under thin sheets, in the light of the moon, slipped into a kind of bitterness. His heart hurts, still hurts so much.

— Choose me. Choose me, he replies simply, still intoxicated within the embrace and the exquisite fragrance that reaches his nose, that of his partner.

— Oh, I wish ... I wish you could understand, mi amor. Everything would be easier, everything would be easier that way. For you as for me.

These sentences make him frown, pull back a little. Why doesn't his lover tell him about it then ? What is so wrong ? He can take anything, he can do anything ...

— So tell me ! Why do you blindly keep silent ?

— But I can’t ! I wish I could but it's something you shouldn't know, not you ...

His grimace turned to anger and it might be childish but he would do anything to have to suffer a little less. He again hoped for the better to fall.

Here they are, your wings, Icarus, here they are. The wax tears your skin again and disappointment your heart. And you fall, you fall always lower. You will not fly back. It's finish.

Almost indignant, he retrieves his things which lie on the ground, thanking the gods that they are not so far from the house. He will take a horse and return on his own if necessary. His thoughts fly out of his lips before he even analyzes them.

— Choose, Carlos. This marriage or me. Or you'll never see me again.

Lando respects his own ideas and does the rest of the journey separately. They follow the same route but the Spaniard stays in the coach while he is in the open air. It makes him feel good. It makes his pain dry up a bit. Go in the wind, in the adrenaline. Forget that everything else exists.

When they finally arrive at the castle, he is happy to set foot on the ground. In the hall, he finds Lewis and rushes into his arms with a blessed sigh.

— Calm down, little one, calm. You are already there ?

— Yes, you received the letter announcing our return ? We're going to have to do a debriefing but we succeeded.

— And you, how are you doing ?

— ... I don't know, I ...

He pulls back, shakes his head. Reach the courtroom and blast a whole lot of talk, share their research and especially the results, their results. What he doesn't expect is Carlos to really step back, praising his deeds and not their teamwork. He does not understand why he is being put forward in this way.

— Since Carlos insists so much ... Lando, you proved your worth to the Alliance, you put yourself in a difficult situation of your own accord and managed to maneuver it perfectly. You are entitled to have a favor from us, as far as possible.

His eyes widen at hearing what Sebastian has just said. A favor ? Lando has heard of it from time to time. Of those favors granted to those who rendered great service to the nations. To Europe. But he's a prince, it seems weird to him to receive one.

He knows what he can ask for. He knows what Lewis, Max and Pierre are expecting him to ask for. He can really do it. All of his hopes suddenly seem to rise to the surface.

His gaze meets Carlos'. The words on the tip of his tongue. His smile freezes then leaves his lips.

— I don't think I deserve such a thing. I would think it over, thanks for your offer.

He avoids surprised looks, lowers his head. In fact, here's the thing, he doesn't want to break up a wedding. He wants the Spaniard to cancel it, he wants him to want it. Not the opposite. He feels cheated otherwise. Maybe it's ridiculous, he knows others wouldn't mind, but he's not like that. He bites the inside of his cheek.

— I think that marks the end of this meeting. We will send another squadron to ratify the pact. Can you tell your husband, Max ?

— Of course.

With a final nod, the meeting is over. He hurries to slip away so as not to suffer the advice of his relatives, he does not want it.

Lando is sitting on the steps at the entrance when Carlos finds him. He sits next to him as if nothing had happened.

— I'll have to go back to Spain.

— O-Oh ... it was ... it was a great adventure, wasn't it ?

The Spaniard seems reluctant to touch him, finally falls back on a soft smile, before reaching out to help him up.

— Yes, it was a great adventure.

He is short of words, he does not know what to say. He's afraid of saying the wrong things, he's afraid of not saying enough. So he doesn't know what to say.

— Farewell.

His ardor is gone. The king gently stroked his cheek, as if he was afraid of breaking him.

— Farewell, corazón.

He turns to enter the castle, not even being able to watch his love go. The disappointment is overwhelming. His stomach is in a knot. Tears overflow from his eyes and he stifles his sobs with his hand so as not to be heard. He wants to leave him the image of someone strong, too bad if afterwards he prefers to flee his country rather than attend an event that breaks his heart.

He stops dreaming, he packs up his naivety. He gets rid of his innocence that he has apparently been envied. It always hurt him so much. Spending so much time in Spain has never been a good thing. Fall in love neither.

He's going to go back to his routine quietly, turning a blind eye to what he should never have clung to.

— Lando !

The call causes him to turn around and his lips come in contact with more plump ones. That he immediately recognizes. He has a surprised moan. When they separate, lacking air, he doesn't understand.

— Carlos ? What-

— I’m not gonna marry your sister, Lando. I could never. It is you that I love, I love you so much. I don't care about those stupid advisers, I can't bring myself to lose you ...

— Carlos ... Carlos ...

Sobs pass his throat and Carlos hugs him with force and vigor. Kiss his cheeks, his tears.

— They told me I might lose the throne, but that's not ... damn it. I love you, I really love you.

— Losing the throne ?

His lover doesn't answer him, keeping him close, face tucked into his neck, inhaling his scent slowly. He feels his heart pounding hard in his chest. However, he is not reassured.

— Carlos, I am not worthy of so much, you shouldn’t sacrifice your place ?

— I disagree. I know how much I hurt you when I accepted this decision, which is why I wouldn't stay away from you any longer.

— But ...

His Spaniard shakes his head. Despite his words, neither of them want to take off. They feel like they are finally meeting again after having spent a whole journey together.

— My god, pinch me if I'm dreaming. Carlos decided to stop being an idiot.

The voice in the background makes them turn around in concert, but not really let go.

— Shut up, Max. You have no lessons to teach me, your wedding has been disastrous.

— That's why I'm remarrying. Make your wedding after ours, it would be nasty to steal the show.

Lando raises his eyebrows at this sentence and the Dutchman's face breaks into a big smile.

— Congratulations Lando, I'm so happy for you.

— Nothing is settled yet.

His words are not unanimous because the two older ones exchange a glance then Carlos nods his head.

— Everything is settled.

The Spaniard takes his hands in his, his brown eyes brimming with affection.

— Come back to Spain with me ?

— Are you sure ?

— More than sure.

— I'm going to pack my things, so I ... I’ll be back.

He is so numb with the euphoria that he has difficulty walking. His steps are uncertain and he packs things in his suitcases that he doesn't even know if he's going to need. Just moments later, he's back in the lobby, interrupting the serious conversation Lewis and Carlos are having. He has a goofy smile.

He turns to his house, what he wanted to call it. He spent years and years in this palace.

— Take care of yourself.

Max gently taps him on the shoulder, as if hesitating about the type of outpouring. This is not the last time they see each other again.

— It was difficult, it was a long road, but it was worth it right ? Enjoy each day, you will see things from a new perspective. Don't lose sight of yourself, either.

Pierre kisses his cheek before pulling back. Charles at his side has one arm wrapped around his waist. Lovers.

Lewis advances.

— Do not hesitate to come back, kid, I will miss you.

— Here will stay my house, you know ?

— Still I ... my god, I'm so emotional. Take care of yourself. A crooked gesture, a cry for help and I swear that I would come to your aid.

Lando smiles, amused. Lewis gently hugs him. A little goodbye, which they must remember. Promise not to forget each other, to always see each other again.

— Watch over him or else ...

— I get it, Lewis. I think the looks of Pierre and Max speak for you !

The Spanish king, however, speaks with a certain humor as he grabs his hand to accompany him to the march to climb in their means of locomotion.

In the coach, on his way to other lands he has already known, he has his happy ending and he finds it hard to believe it but he is there. Sweet inspiration, Carlos' hand in his, the Snowdrop around his neck as a reminder of everything he has lived, of his country, of Lewis, as a pledge of future luck.

— Te amo, Lando.

— It means ...?

— Yes.

Like the soft whisper heard that night. Emotion shines in his eyes. In those of his companion.

— It means I love you.

He flies, he flies ever higher, in a limpid sky, alongside the sun.

But this time he no longer has to worry about burning his wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's the end of this part. And almost the end of this story. I only have one mort pov to translate and this will only be one chapter. The very last one. I liked writing this part because it was different from the others and most of all, this end ... I had this end in mind the whole time I was writing it.  
> It was a pleasure, I hope you liked it as much as I did ...


End file.
